Choose a scenario (or type calories) and it converts it into food equivalents + an entirely unserious poo estimate. Now with a dramatic loading sequence because… obviously.
The How Many Poos calculator converts calories into an entirely unserious estimate of how many poos might emerge from your chosen scenario. It also shows food equivalents, because the human brain loves comparing everything to pizza.
If you’re looking for workplace efficiency metrics, try the Paid To Poo calculator to estimate how much money you earn while taking a poo at work.
No. This is comedy maths for entertainment. If you need medical advice, speak to a professional. If you need internet validation, you’re already in the right place.
The result divides your chosen calories by the selected comedy “poo rate”, then compares the same calories with typical food servings. It does not predict digestion, bowel frequency, weight loss or calories absorbed by your body.